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Sunday, April 11, 2004

Something to break the monotony of bad news

Schmuel Moskovitz is denied entrance to the Grosse Point Tennis Club, because he is a Jew. Determined to join, he takes speech lessons, learns about boats, even tries to eat corned beef on white bread with lettuce and mayonnaise. One year later he shows up wearing a conservative three-piece suit and a copy of the Wall Street Journal tucked under his arm.

They ask him questions: his name (Winthrop van Horton III), where he lives (Connecticut, of course), What is your income (I never discuss that, but I own skyscrapers in Manhattan and factories in northern NJ) and -what is your religious affiliation? His chest swells with pride as he announces, "I am goy!"